Wednesday, 4 July 2012

Big Bow Headband - a tutorial and a confession

I have really neglected my blog lately. I had a million and one things going on in my head and I just didn't have the energy to blog aswell.

I didn't think I would ever disclose this on here but I feel I have to give some kind of reason as to why I have been missing. I am a *recovering* anorexic. I have had an eating disorder for the past 12years with a 4year period of recovery when I was pregnant, breastfeeding etc. The past 6ish weeks, I have been fighting a relapse. I lost a ton of weight and was hardly eating and just feeling awful and negative when I did eat. Thankfully, I have my head back now (mostly), I am eating again and I am putting the weight back on.

This is my first relapse since I got pregnant with Leyla and decided that enough was enough and I had to eat to look after my baby. I always imagined parents who give in to this kind of thing were ridiculous and should just put their babies first but now I know it's not as easy as that. Eating disorders are mental illnesses so it would be like telling someone they are not allowed to be depressed or schizophrenic when they have kids. It just doesn't work like that.

Ultimately though, I have tried to claw my way back to some sense of sanity for my kids. Every day that I starved myself, I felt sooo guilty. I didn't want to just die in my sleep one night and leave them with no Mammy but on what I was eating and how much weight I lost, I knew that was possible and probably pretty likely. I felt like I should be working harder at recovery for my kids so I tried my very best to clear my head and try and ignore the negative thoughts as much as I could. I'm not fully recovered today. I am eating a decent amount but I am still fighting with my thoughts. One day at a time.

Even though I haven't been blogging, I have still been crafting! I made this Big Bow Headband a few weeks ago and I think it is so, so cute. It was ridiculously easy to make aswell and took me all of about 5minutes!

To make it, I took a piece of material measuring 44"x3". You can make it wider or narrower if you prefer. I like this width and length for me. I folded it along the length, right sides together, and stitched all the way along, backstitching at the beginning and end of each line of stitching. I left a 1/4" seam allowance and used a straight stitch and then a zigzag stitch.

Once I had my piece all sewn up along the long end, I turned it right side out. I cut my two ends at an angle just to make the bow look prettier when it was tied. To sew up the open side edges, I used a wide zigzag on short stitch length. This finished it off nicely without too much bulk and without too much hassle. I then top-stitched all up the two long edges and my Big Bow Headband was ready to wear.

I love it :)

I'm linking here:

Beyond The Picket Fenceshabby creek cottage Artsy MamaLittle InspirationSerenity youI Heart Nap Time


Coffee Addict said...

Totally understandable and always remember that a relapse doesn't mean you've lost the fight. Just pick yourself back up and keep going because those children need their Mammy! I've struggled with depression and social anxiety since I was a pre-teen. On the really bad days it takes all I have to just sit at home and try to keep the children occupied, because what I really want to do is just crawl into bed and never wake up again. But I've come to realize that a day spent in front of the television is better for my children then many days spent without their Mommy.

Jennifer Salter said...

I'm so proud of you for being open and honest! I have a cousin that struggled with the same thing. She's been in remission for 12 years and is happy and healthy. keep your kids as your focus and I am sure that you will continue to have the strength you need to make the right choices everyday. Your babies need you!
Stay strong!!
Oh and I love the headband! Super cute :)

Pam said...

Love your big bow headband!!! So easy to do and it looks great!!!

You've had a setback, but the important thing is you are now heading in the right direction. Focus on the way forward and on your children.

Natalie said...

Big hugs hunni. Big BIg BIG hugs and loads of love xxx Nat

Lori Stokes Wright said...

I too, fight mental illness. When my daughter was younger it was tough. It is so difficult to be fighting yourself and your body when you know what you need to do but can't always get it together. Keep on reaching out. The thumbnail of your awesome bow drew me in, I'm glad it did. Hugs~Lori

Lori Stokes Wright said...

Just so you know...I saw the thumbnail at Friday Fun Party :P

Natasha SerenityYou said...

Just to let you know that you have been featured on my link party -

Natasha xx

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